whew.

Well, I don't know if I am coping a little better, or if I am turning the corner, but I seem to not dread each coming day and the amount of nausea it might bring.  I have been super busy with photography, which is both good and sad. I've been spreading my photography wings and learning so much, it is disappointing to move from here and start it all over again. I have really enjoyed the way my business has grown, through friends and word of mouth. I always wanted this business to have a storefront feel, although there is no store and no front. But you know, that local, my photographer and  my friend kind of feel.  I have no friends in Tulsa (yet), so it will be a bit more challenging for sure. But it will happen, and it will be fun.

I am feeling less and less inclined to do nursing after the move. Granted, I have worked in one the most stressful work environments for the past ten years- heart surgery. And although I enjoy it, find it challenging, and am proud of the years I have logged there- I am also worn out, tired of stressful situations, long hours, getting called in the middle of the night, and so on. My temptation with nursing has always been the moo-la. I want to make money so I can have more money, because I think that brings me safety and acceptance.

And yet, the happiest, hands down, I have ever been was my time in St. Louis. When I had very little money, and we lived simple, happy lives. There is something to simplicity and the clutter it takes out of your lives. Now, I also know that NOT having money can be just as stressful. I know, I know. I am just saying, there are some things I can HAVE by HAVING less- peace of mind and clarity and time with people and family. I want this more. I was less distraction. I want the TV off and the windows open. I want the Beatles playing, and I want my mind to be engaged in things that bring life.

I have been craving this so much lately.