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" [You can not] steal quietly away to heaven, in Christ's company, without a conflict and a cross"

Amy Carmichael

How I long to steal quietly away to heaven. To live life where relationships are always easy, where giving is what you WANT to do, where loving is the first choice instead of the thing you always find yourself fighting for.

For years, now, it seems I have been living in a spiritual no man's land. Like being trapped in the redwood forest and never looking up. Just trees, trees and more trees.

Traveling has a way of moving your imagination, getting out of the forest, so to speak. It has a way of opening up and frustrating places that have grown cold an weary.

I needed a little frustratin' if you know what I mean.

The other night I was looking around the house for some Flannery O'Connor and instead stumbled upon a book that a friend had given me. And it was like the light came in, in that forest. My heart felt warm again, hopeful that God was not so far has He has seemed for so long. I had not lost faith, but I tell you, I was getting tired of the distance.

The first chapter had this quote, and it strangely comforted me.

In Christ's company, I will not steal quietly away to heaven.

I was not so far away as I thought.

This past Sunday, we landed at a church that we feel can be our home. We've been longing for beauty for so long in worship, and it felt good to be in its presence again. 

This has been quite the journey, here in Tulsa. It continues to be. It helps to let some light in though, and I am thankful for words to remind me to just look up.

summertime

Hi friends out there! Summer has been amazingly mild and we've been soaking it up.

We just returned from a jam packed week in Colorado. That place is AMAZING in the Summer. I hope we get to do that again one day. Josh is a mountain man, and I love the beach, but I can tell you- I was impressed.

Life is busy and slow all at the same time. My brain keeps ticking away and we have some exciting things brewing. My heart continues to ebb and flow through my ever sweet reminder of (thank you madeleine l'engle) that I am living the "tired thirties". 

I find myself jumping in and out of blogs and social media these days. I think about hanging it up all together, and then I read something that actually helps and encourages, and feel thankful for the access. Been thinking more about hospitality and praying God begins to use that longing again. Some people remain wonderfully hospitable with small kids, but I have found the days to be long and energy scarce. With that said, I am hoping for some new beginnings as we continue through our lazy Summer and enter into the Fall Season. I don't know much these days except that God loves me. and you. The theologians may scoff, my call my theology weak- but over and over, love seems to be the only thing that really inspires, heals, quickens, and changes me.

So, here's to meal sharing and hope.

and some summer pics.

love, 

brooke