black and white and grey all over

perhaps one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses(these things have a way of being one in the same) is the need for things to be right and true. The expectation upon my fellow neighbor to be anything other than this is, well, well beyond what any person this side of heaven could be. Ironically, the standard upon my own soul is much less demanding. Floundering is ok when its me. Somehow I have convinced myself that my own inconsistencies are less damaging. What a hoot. And yet there is something valuable in seeing what is false. I see something in a person and I think, this is hurting you. you think you are being honest, but its really just destructive. It's love, sometimes, that drives this wanting for things to be right. Sometimes, however, the wanting for things to be right actually keeps me from people. My patience grows weak, and the stupidity of it all overwhelms the patience I need to love and the wisdom I need to see that I, too, have my own bag of tricks that hurt people, the church, God. I, in some small way, have been convinced of the value of community. There is something about food and space and people that make the world seem right again, safe, home. But then, we are people, right, and when the music fades and plates are caked over with our leftovers, something else real is revealed. the gaze starts to shift inward, and all i think about are how none of this is right, really really right. it's a mess, even, and I have had enough. So the joke is on me. What's black and white and grey all over? i think it's me.

a walk on the beach

Josh and I went to the beach this weekend. We had a beautiful walk on the beach Saturday morning. There was a thick fog over the ocean, which made you feel like you were somewhere other than Florida. Somewhere North. Somewhere in England. Far Far Away. We are back, in Alabama. South. Very South.

black beans and rice avec turkey sausage

josh has been pestering me to write another entry. i am not having any profound thoughts as of late. i just started reading a good book recommended to me by a new friend, cassia. it is called gilead. i have only read a few pages, but already it reads like a river. (cassia described it this way, and i must say i agree) it is written in the form of a letter, which is probably why i like it, and well, that's about all i can say seeing that i have hardly read the book. so, though i have few thoughts to share, i do have a nice recipe that i made up tonite with some ingredients i rounded up from the pantry and the freezer. i don't have exact measurements...so consider the spices as1/2 teaspoons...add to your liking.

you need:

1 small onion (not tiny, just one that comes in those big bags)
1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)
1 pack of turkey sausage( has two links..i used healthy choice)...cut them up into slices
cilantro(1/2 cup or so)
olive oil
cayenne pepper
cumin
chili powder
salt and pepper
garlic-1 large clove
2/3 cup water
rice..however much you want

directions:

saute onion and garlic in olive oil (1 T or so)
add spices; beans(rinsed and drained); and 1/3 cup of water
simmer on low heat (add some water if gets too dry)
in another pan cook sliced sausage..doesn't take long..
add to bean mixture
you may want to add some water

continue to simmer (you want it to thicken)
add cilantro (small handful)

cook rice

serve bean/sausage mixture over rice
garnish with cilantro and sourcream

bon appetite