* written for just write.
longest week of my life.
every sentence he uttered would trail off into a thousand seconds.
"is that the last time I will hear him like this, again?....Will it all be different? Is life as we know it changing this fast? I'm not ready. I'm not strong enough. I don't want this life without him."
tumor. spine. probably benign. may not be. life changing surgery. neuro deficits. chemo. radiation.
these were the things we were told.
I functioned. I changed the poopy diapers. I cried on my spin bike. I drank a lot of coffee. I burst into tears in the middle of a delivery at work.
it comes, and goes. the grief of the unknown.
I sit here, in this ICU room.
he can barely move. it hurts like hell. I see this.
and he's ok. he is totally ok.
that tumor in a jar somewhere. the haunting, gone.
I know. I know. I am lucky. We are lucky. spared.
The Lord had mercy.
The Lord had mercy.
The Lord had mercy.
3 comments :
Oh, my goodness. This is tough stuff. I'm so thankful that it turned out to be good news. You have much to be thankful for this week!
wow. the way you write so beautifully, we all feel it with you. Glad the surgery is over and he's okay. Hang in there.
love this.
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