on the eve of entering in.

it's not but two weeks away, and we'll be totally engulfed by the holiday madness. I feel myself tense up inside.

I want to love it. feast in the season of waiting and then giving.

I want it to be like a story book.

I want to not worry about who wants what, but give with thoughtfulness and love. and gratitude.

I want to say- you matter. So I thought you might enjoy this.

I work at this every year- but the last few have felt so overwhelmed with life.

In 2008, I had a 10 day old. Who came with much drama. I bought no one, anything. I was barely coherent.

In 2009, We traveled home to Georgia. It was better, I was definitely feeling more like myself, I had started a wonderful new job.

The day after Christmas, Annie started losing her hair. Everything else is fuzzy.

In 2010, I had a two year old, and I was 7/8 months pregnant with Amelia. I was still daily throwing up, like it was my favorite past time. The year had taken its toll.

I was in no mood to feast.

In 2011, I am praying for little drama, and more life, wonder, and hope.

Annie has gotten that glimmer in her eye- the one that loves make believe, and surprises, and birthday cake. I love this age (minus the tantrums).

Amelia just giggles at it all. and well, I have much to be grateful for.

so much.

So, I wait for it and hope I don't miss it all for fear of getting lost in it.

I get so overwhelmed at what I can't do, you know.

and then I get equally overwhelmed with what I CAN.

I am reminded of Mother Theresa.

If you can't feed 100. Feed one.

I hope, among our feasting, that we will live this reality of generosity. That we will see this season as an chance to feed one.

I know I drifted off there. ( I have that whole "I was hungry and you didn't feed me" thing on my mind lately.)

It relates.

Anyway, I am pretty sure  that ended up sounding like a Hallmark card.

oh well.