saying goodbye

we said goodbye to welsie today. She drove away in a white hummer, on a snowy day. She's probably at her new home about now. The liaison said she was going to be about 45 minutes away.

Josh and I both cried. I have had a few months to get used to the idea- but I am reminded that we are just not meant to say good bye. Grief is something that just washes over you- coming and going as it pleases. reminding me of the risk that love carries. even for a dog.

oh welsie- you'll be greatly missed.

but not your drool:)

addendum: that ended up being the hardest day I have had in a really long time. like someone had cut off an appendage. I kept looking around looking for something to grab onto. but nothing really filled the empty space. nothing.

I slept hard last night, and let sleep do it's healing magic. It did help, but the sadness still is lingering even this morning. When you open the floodgates, the rains fall from all sorts of places. So, along with losing Welsie, there were all the other doubts and fears that I have been carrying since we moved here. So much of our life here in Tulsa has been trying to find a place to feel grounded. Many people have asked us that since we bought a house, are we planning on staying here? Well, we are here for now. I don't think either of us think of this place as our forever home, and that in someways has allowed me to let go and enjoy our time here. We also know that we are supposed to be here right now, and that we don't really know where else to "be" except right here, right now. And I think letting of go of the one thing that linked the past to the present, was really, really, difficult.