new digs

the blog got an ole face lift. I need to do some more, like add a dozen more links to the lovely blogs I read. sometime soon, i say.

Made it through my second week of Bible Study. Since my time at seminary, studying the Bible has been somewhat intimidating to me. This Holy book is both comforting and terrifying. Claiming things well beyond my maturity and experience- calling me to something utterly un-me.

And yet, if we are created in God's image, so much of what we fight against is the very thing we were made for. In studying 1 John, I can feel myself wrestling with something at every breath. If you claim to know God, you must obey Him. If you claim to be without sin, you are a liar. all sin. so you sin. and you should obey. and love, too- because that is the highest command. I guess that means that we always carry in us, this reality, that in all things I am a sinner. I also, carry in me the reality that Christ covers my sin, makes me able to fight against it, turn away, and God forbid- do. the. right. thing.

and not because it's "right", but because it's true.

I have found a great deal of rest in the past years in being able to sit in my uncertainty. I have felt, many times, the welcome of the Table to my doubting heart. Perhaps that Table of Repentance is doing its slow work, making me able to hear words again. words that are true. I still don't know what to do with them, and they often feel too much for me. and that's ok. One thing, I am most definitely over- is caring what others think about me. "To whom shall I go, you have the words of Eternal Life".

Most days I have no idea what the implications are to that statement, but I feel the same way. even if I wish there were a less painful way.