georgia

we decided sometime Thursday that we would drive all night.

and we did.

worked well for baby. Annie, not so much.

still, all in all, a good strategy. we made great time- shaving off a few hours I am convinced.

we did have one failed stop at a steak and shake at 2 in the morning. I won't get into it, but it was pretty funny and a reminder of how different life is now. you kinda just had to be there. but you weren't, because you were sleeping. ah, sleep.

we rolled into birmingham around 5 am, and descended on my sister's house. We all took 2 hour naps, and because some plans fell through, we decided to torture our traveling souls a bit more and drive the rest of the way to Georgia.

we are glad to be here. The girls are doing great, and I think last night they finally got caught up on some much needed sleep. I actually slept 8 hours, but because my back is not used to sleeping flat like that for such a long period of time (I know, so sad, where are the days of 10 hours of sleep???)- I am up at 6 am blogging while the rest of the house slumbers.

oddly, I cherish the quiet. even if it's before the sun comes up.

anywho.....we are here, and enjoying Georgia life for a week.

I think may take a nap today.

acceptance?

It's been well over a year since Annie lost her hair. I had not done her "2 year" photos because of some weird psychological block. I just didn't want to accept that this was happening. Documenting it seemed to make it more real. These photos go in the frames, you know. on the wall. They are her story. Pictures she will look at years from now to remember her story. I do that with my own childhood photos. Piecing my years together into something like some map of the world. Pictures navigate our stories. They invoke emotion. they speak.

this is why I am a photographer.

because sometimes there are no words. or not enough.

and well, the picture says all it needs to in silence.

but IF this picture could speak, I think it would say.....

Annie, beholding wonder. never letting the world sleep. there is too much to touch, hold, breath, take in. Too much to smile at. Too many faces to cheer, endear, love. too much beauty. who needs rest. I am LIFE. I am tender. I am Annie.

respite

when the fields are dry, and the winter is long

blessed are the meek, the hungry, the poor

when my soul is downcast, and my voice has no song

for mercy, for comfort, I wait on the Lord

-----in feast or fallow, sandra mccracken

I just returned from three days on the coast. sans kiddos. a-mazing. I truly needed this so much. Just time to breathe, be, eat, shop- unhindered. As I sat in my chair and let the waves roll in, I felt weight literally being lifted off me. There was mental space, and physical space, sleep, and genuine play. it was a gift that every mom should insist upon. do it for yourself. but also do it for your family.

I am back, and I loved seeing my little munchkins.

I feel like my heart is full. full enough to stare the humdrum of life with little ones in the face again. to not feel threatened by their sweet ways of overwhelming me.

while at the beach, I had some time to listen to some good music. let is wash over me. in feast or fallow- is my prayer these days. for me, and so many I know.

longing for the day when all sad things are made untrue (sam, lord of the rings)

until then, reaching deep for a grateful heart, for all the good things I possess.

this, too, is true.

snag.

so far this summer, we seem to be running into one big snag. is that word? a phrase? with the amount of sleep I am getting, I am very likely making this up.

I also just made another pot of coffee because the first one was way too weak.

no weak coffee around here.

anyway, we just can't seem to get our act together around here. between working nights, and being up all hours of the night with amelia, well- I am pretty much in a state of zombie-ness all the time.

and with tiredness comes crankiness, and overwhelming piles of laundry, and creeping anxiety.

we need a vacay.

tues morning- i leave for 30-a! I'll be going ALONE, to visit my sister's family and twin impregnated dearest friend and her husband. Yes, I am totally crashing their beach party, sleeping on the bunk bed, but I am giddy with the delight.

I need this like you have NO idea.

and then, a bit later down the pike, we'll be visiting friends and family down South- and I am hoping this will be a time of relaxation and family and sweet tea.

on another note- seems like amelia isn't getting enough to eat- probably from a combination of low milk supply and bad reflux. of course, I am super bummed about this- so we are trying some new routines (hence our lack of sleeping, etc...)

We've been adding lots more formula and rice to her diet- which has sent her little gut into a whirlwind. Several middle of night blow outs, which is always fun.

we'll make it. we always do.

btw, josh goes to visit the orthodox church today.

and I got a day-shift job.

always an adventure.....

addendum: josh left said orthodox church. too weird. rock n roll church it is. for now.