terrible twos

are proving true around here.

major kicking, screaming, throwing fits kinds of tantrums.

today I miss the days of freedom. of pubs with friends. long mornings in coffee shops with the snow falling. and then I remember that then I was longing for what is now. and everyone said. enjoy this. enjoy your time.

it's all so good, you know. every season with it's benefits and loneliness.

but when your kid is prostrate on the floor at church, screaming at the top of her lungs, one starts to wonder how this came to be my child? When did I lose control? or did I?

today, our associate pastor was preaching and he said sometimes some of us show up and we can barely utter the words in a song because we feel unworthy to worship. I kind of laughed inside, thinking, I probably should feel this way- but really I am just too tired to sing. I mean, I barely made it to church, really!

you know it's bad when you are fantasizing about 3 days in the hospital with people waiting on you hand and foot. It may require major abdominal surgery, but I'll take it. and pain pills, too. oh, and that beautiful baby amelia. can't wait to meet her, too.

*** upon dealing with an obviously not feeling well child all day, and a sudden onset of bright red/rash like cheeks, it dawned on me about 10 minutes before bedtime that Annie has Fifths disease. well, at least her behavior wasn't JUST because she is 2. SO. TIRED. OF. SICK. BABIES. Hoping the Advil and Benedryl work their magic....