I have been reading at the recommendation of friends- The Divine Hours. It's more or less a prayer book, with scripture readings prayers- a lot of it taken from the Book of Common Prayer. There are readings for morning, mid-day, and evening. I find the repetition helpful and the words are usually a comfort.
every now and then cynical me shows up (well, i suppose that it always the case), but usually the words quiet me. Today, in the reading, is the scripture "do not worry about about food, drink, clothing- your Father knows you need these things". On some level, of course, I find this comforting. Though, I have worried for little. ever. I mean, I worry- I was worrying this morning about "money", as I often do- but seeing that we have a home, and food, and clothes. I mean, the worry is pretty much unfounded. And yet, I latch on to these words for comfort- and a wrong interpretation would be that it means I won't ever be uncomfortable. It's comfort that God might actually care about these things-but I hear and see plenty of things to know that for many, clothes and food and money is a very real worry. I wonder how they would hear these words from Jesus. I know you are starving, and you've been wearing those clothes for months- but do not worry, Your Father knows what you need....I just don't know.
I am really fighting to believe these things. these words. I feel so overwhelmed by the truly broken places. I have a friend who has been jetsetting around Africa feeding hungry people and helping them get healthcare. She just got transfered to Darfur. She accepted the transfer- and she knows how dangerous it will be. She knows the grim details. and she is going anyway. In the midst of all that, she sees God at work. I think she believes those words for people.
I don't know how much is guilt, that I live here, in this place where things are more or less "easy". I feel overwhelmed, even, by what we have, and I wonder what God thinks about it all. Will He love us despite it all-
I hope so.
No comments :
Post a Comment