for a fews hours, all was right in the world

last saturday was beautiful here. i mean, soul-cleansing beautiful. at some point I looked at josh and said, I am so happy today. he said, "me, too"...and we were both like, "huh..."

so the day continued in flower planting and haning our PORCH swing- which has been utter delight for an entire week now. it felt so good to be outside, hands in dirt.

the night before we went to a party for some friends who were getting married. we laid on hammocks and drank japanese beer and ate sushi and laughed. there was some peace, shalom.

I know one day this season of life will make more sense. This season, where there were more questions than answers. when the brick wall bruised me one to many times. when prayers were scant. frustrations high. I think God gave josh and I a break from it all last weekend. He gave us peace for a fleeting moment. It makes us brave for the next thing- because there is always a next thing.

i used to think I had alot of answers. i used to think there were very particular ways to act, communicate, that believing in Jesus looked a certain way. I am pretty sure I thought I was better than most people. I am sorry for that.

this year has changed me, and if took this year, this hell of a year...then, I am thankful. I think i love people better now. I am on the slow road to redemption, too.