walking the line between faith and fear...when you cry, i taste the salt in your tears.

we're all in this thing together. these are words to a good song, as are the words of the title of this post. i have been thinking about this song today, by old crow medicine show. i think God is changing me in surprising ways. a difficult thing for me to admit at times, is how detached i live in the world. i think people check out in a myriad of ways. some run marathons. some drink. some smoke. some scrapbook. whatever works for you. i have taken a more holistic approach if you will. keep it safe. distance. try not feel....anything. don't feel love. don't feel a buzz. minimize the stimuli, stay numb.

but, as i said. things, they are a changing. the tears are starting to fall more easily. and not just for myself. but for others. i sat on a porch last nite, in the fall nite, with home-made margaritas and smokes, with people i know, and people i'd like to know better. it really was a beautiful mess. i mostly listened, and laughed some. but it was a strange laughter, the kind that brings comfort in the nite. the kind that knows when the moment is over, the sadness still lingers, but you laugh anyway, because its comfort and a gift, of sorts. and it was a gift, this nite, because i could feel every feeling with such intensity.

i am learning to live in a world where the rules are not as clear as i would like. where people feel crushed and wounded and they have no idea how to be a christian, but they are trying. i am learning that you don't always know the whole story, or the whole person, and to think you do, deprives people of the mystery and care with which they were made. I am learning that there is evil in all of us, and that God's grace can seep in, even in the foulest of human situations. I am learning.....

fall

finally. finally it is fall-ish here. i love the fall. i love it for its blue skies and orange leaves. i love it for chili and soup and hot tea. i love it for walks and hikes and driving. i know fall means things will die, but it just makes me feel like i can get by.

last weekend i went to the gulf with my dear college friends. i had a serious hangover from the 72 hour conversation we participated in. it was lovely, and i miss them already.

on another note, a song made me cry today. her name is lori mckenna. the song is fireflies. its the kind of song you grab onto, and hold it for dear life. sometimes i get so far from where i came from that i forget what it was i wanted. the song reminded me.

so scared

i hate to even make fun of my sweet dog, but its pretty funny, odd, whatever, to come home and find your 150 lb dog with her head in the corner. she is really scared of rain. this is her safe place, or so she thinks. i feel bad for her, i really do...

 

thai curry...yum.

we made this dish tonite, and it was quite good, for those who like to indulge in a little ethnic cuisine. here's the recipe. it has a bite, so if you don't like spicy, then go easy on the curry paste. this will feed at least 6 people; and it's really quite inexpensive.

thai curry with chicken

first suggestion: if you have an asian market near you, i would get the coconut milk and the red curry paste from there. it's better, and it's cheaper.

what you'll need:

1 onion/ sliced
1 bell pepper/ sliced
2 cloves garlic/ minced
1 can red curry paste
2 cans coconut milk
2 chicken breasts/ sliced
2 cups rice/ steamed

go ahead and start your rice while you are making the sauce
saute onions and garlic in olive oil...however much you want
add bell peppers, let them get a bit soft
add curry paste (i bought a small can; but it's a liberal amount)
mix all together for a minute or two
add the coconut milk
let the sauce get hot, so that you see it bubble (you want sauce to be hot enough to cook the chicken)
add raw chicken, let it cook for 10 minutes or so, until chicken is cooked through
serve over rice!

sooo good.