once upon a time

I had a blog, and felt like writing on it.

We've been enjoying this super mild winter, which I am not complaining about one iota. I am sure we have some cold days ahead (um, like tonight), but all in all, it's been a sunny, balmy winter.

we're good around here. not getting enough sleep. trying to parent, sleep train, engage these little brains in something other than media. Trying to eat healthy and exercise. trying to engage our hearts in the supernatural. trying to mindful of our faults. be forgiving.

I feel lucky and frustrated.

I feel thankful to be seeing freedom in my life, where there has always been shackles.

I am seeing that Tulsa was where God wanted me. to set me free.

Who knew. who ever knew.

a little crazy

it's been a crazy week here.

music class.
school.
two work nights for mama.
annie's first ballet class!
one sleepless night for millie.

but it's all worth it, of course.

I get a whole weekend with Josh this weekend. sans kiddos!!!!

movie. dinner out. sleeping in.

is this really happening?

better late than never: just write.

*written in linkage with just write

I should start this off by saying I just ate like half of a chocolate chip bundt cake to compensate for the bedtime madness I just endured. It was epic.

I should also share that Annie is 85% potty trained. I don't reward her the entire 100% because I occasionally put her in a pull-up to avoid situations I don't feel like dealing with, and so she of course enjoys the convenience. so whatever, that's how we roll.

I read my first parenting book- it was about sleep. I was actually impressed. with myself and the book. I am not sure we can pull it off- but I am glad to have the knowledge stored away, and hopefully we'll figure out some happy medium.

or hopefully the almost one year old will start taking a decent nap. and stop waking up at nite. and all that stuff.

So, we are on the Catholic path, and it's been really good and renewing. With that said, the #1 thing all my protestant people get freaked about is MARY. MARY!!!! Don't worship her!!!! yikes! 

So, no fear, this isn't happening. but I do have a funny story.

There is statue of Mary holding baby "jejus" on the way to Annie's church class. So , Annie LOVES Mary, all of sudden. Totally taken with her.

Well, the next day, I got to be "mary's" sit in. All Day, I was MARY. I was never momma. Annie stayed in character ALL DAY LONG. Even as she closed her eyes to go to sleep, Annie said. "night, night Mary".

And Millie was santa. go figure.

So, the stories are starting, which is exciting for me. To tell this crazy beautiful story of redemption to my little girl. And, I for one, am glad she is taken with Mary. I mean, this is the Mother of God for crying out loud. This humble teenage girl, of no social merit, was given a seat of honor in the grand story of redemption. I think her story is worth knowing, and celebrating.

so, yeah, Mary isn't such a bad thing for Annie to want me to be. I could only hope that I have an ounce of her humility.

and there you go.

I just wrote.

36. new year.

providence would have that I start my new year, at a new age, which is kind of nice.

last year, we were introduced to the sweetest little girl, our baby girl amelia. I can tell my heart had come a long way when I held amelia for the first time. The fear had subsided- that trepidation I had with Annie. I was able to melt easily into this little newborn sweetness. It was a profound experience to have my heart multiply with love for another human being- it seemed impossible, and yet it was so easy. Crazy to think that God loves us that way, with each new creation, he loves again, again. and again.

last year also introduced me to life with 2 young children, which was deeply challenging. Life with one is an adjustment, but life with 2 is a death in many ways. There was always a need before me, and mine generally went unnoticed. This taught me much of God's sacrificial love, that it is in his very nature to love us this way. He doesn't do with the burden of a sinful heart- but out of his very essence.

The end of the year brought a major fight between Josh and I, that has proved to be completely worth it:) I bought a spin bike in October,  and have been training on it for about 10 weeks, at least 5 days a week. This has been amazing for my sense of well being and overall health. Working fitness into life with children has been really difficult for me, but with this bike, I can hop on, start my heart rate monitor, and burn over 400 calories in 30 minutes. I make music mixes using my spotify account and pretty much have my own little solo spin class every day!

And then of course, Josh's tumor was our little icing on the cake for end of the year. This was a scary week for us, after the news, and we are just so thankful for the good results. I was really at the end of myself for that week, filled with much fear and sadness. Just so glad it's over. Josh is doing great, and life is getting back to its crazy self. (although the crazy never really left!)

So, here we are in 2012. The first day of the new year. I'm about to hop on that bike, and get the munchkins ready for Mass. Yes, we are still on THAT path, too. It's a slow one, and one I still am treading on with caution, but I am thankful to go sit in God's presence this morning, and offer my doubts, my heart to the one who handle it.

thanks for reading this blog, kind readers. Who knew I would end up writing on this thing for 8 years?

happy. new. year.