whew

this has been one of those weeks where I have had to roll with the punches.

sometimes literally. (I have a feisty 2 year old).

For some time, I have had plans to fly to Georgia this weekend to see my cousin Matthew get married. A little over a year ago, on a rainy night- our last night of vacation in Georgia, I woke up to go to the bathroom, and my family was sitting around the kitchen table. My stomach sunk before I even had heard the news- but the news was that my cousin Matthew had been in a serious car accident, and he was literally fighting for his life.

So, I of course jumped at the chance to see this guy get married!!! The plans were in place, and then it all started falling a part. Sickness creeped in. Josh's mom got sick. The girls got sick. So, after my dad talked me off my emotional ledge,  I focused on the next task in front of me. I decided if I just kept doing that, and I got to 10 oclock the next day and was able to drive to the airport- then I would go!

Well, the morning arrived and the girls seemed on the mend. I sent Annie on her way to school, and then Millie and I made our way to the airport. We sat by the nicest lady who was on her way to Ghana for a mission trip. She held Millie the WHOLE WAY. It was so kind of her.

We arrived safely to Atlanta (I hate ATL airport, by the way). And started our festivities!  And then it happened. Millie started getting congested again. The fever started. And the night from hell ensued.

At 1 in the morning, I thought to myself- MY PLAN FAILED! HOW COULD I BE SO NAIIVE!!!

In a moment of genius, I put Amelia in her carseat, where she FINALLY fell asleep for 3 hours. At this point, she was comfortable enough to sleep in her crib. I slept. And sanity returned to my soul.

We had a lovely day yesterday. Relaxed. Took a walk. And enjoyed an amazing evening with my family! This weekend, I am meeting family that I have never met before, and it has been so special!

Amelia slept like a dream last night, and I would have, but I ate TOO much.

And I won't tell you how much we cried last night during all the speeches.

Today is the BIG DAY!!!

I am so glad I came. That I brought Millie. and that we have overcome our little bumps in the road.

A reminder, that all I have is the moment in front of me. I should savor it, or remind myself that it will pass (depending on what kind of moment it is!!!)

liturgy of a mother

one of my friend's commented on my previous post, calling my day "the liturgy of a mom". I loved that. A sense of ceremony given to my day. (a day that often feels mundane).

Last night as I was holding my feverish baby in the wee hours, I was reminded that liturgy is more than just the words or order- but it is about presence. In the middle of the night, all the tasks had been done, but what was needed was presence. And so, I held sweet Amelia until the Tylenol took the aches away, and she was able to settle (albeit restlessly) into sleep for a few hours.

Sometimes all we can do is be present. We may not have words, or even peace or contentment, but we can settle into the moment, and be there.

I was reminded last night, that really holding her in that moment was all that mattered. that's hard for me. As I am usually staring down my days like a long road set apart by mile markers- wondering when we'll hit a rest stop.

Being up all night is no fun, but the lessons it teaches me are good.

very good.

running in circles

I have entered into that stage of life where I literally feel like I am walking in circles.

Wake up.
start coffee.
make bottle.
watch madmen while feeding baby.
pause.
drink coffee.
annie wakes.
change diaper.
make breakfast.
wonderpets.
clean kitchen.
clean toys.
play.
clean toys.
snack.
clean toys.
shower. maybe.
clean toys.
is it nap time yet?
no.
clean toys.
lunch.
nap time.
I should be cleaning.
but I blog.
clean toys.
what? she's up already??
play.
clean toys.
melt down.
spanking.
think about dinner.
clean toys.
chores. I have to make this house look orderly before josh gets home.
clean everything.
enter josh.
I enter kitchen.
make dinner.
pray.
baths.
bedtime.
clean toys.

gratitude

thanks for all the kind comments and emails regarding my last post. Deep, deep gratitude.

Annie starts pre-school today! yay!!!!!

Yesterday I said to Annie, "Are you excited about school tomorrow?"

Annie: " YESSSS! Friendsssss! (long pause) BOYSSSSS!"

Me: "oh, dear."

If I get some time today, I am going to take a picture of my chubby baby Millie. You would have never known she wasn't gaining weight! She's quite the chunka-chunka!!!!