let the packing begin...

We started the ominous process of packing this week. I do not like packing at all. It reveals WAY too much. How much crap we have for one. Oh well, it has to be done.

I generally like Summer a lot, especially early Summer. I love the water and warm breezes. Cold drinks. I think I am starting to feel a bit of the craziness that comes with feeling bad for 9 straight weeks. I really, really need and want to feel better. I hear it's coming. I am trying to believe it! I really to have a healthy respect for those who fight illness on a daily basis. It really reveals a part of our existence that was not meant to be. Seems like a dominant theme this week- death, sickness, loss. This week was not helped at all by the news that I heard this morning- the death of Tim Russert.  Sunday morning news is one my favorite things to watch- and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Tim Russert. He was pretty much my number one informant on all things political. I liked the way he interviewed, and he seemed like a genuine man. I am sad, that he, too, was taken at such a young age.

Lot's of , "why, God?", this week.

The good news, is that I am going to the beach for a few days. My sweet friend Carrie has offered a bed at their house for part of this week, and even though I have SO much to do, I feel like this might be the one thing that puts some spring back into my step. So white, sandy beach, here I come- with my chair and hat, book and sunscreen.  I am white as a ghost, with a bulging belly to boot (and not the cute kind, yet)- and I don't even care. 

AND, one last thing, the dr. called back with the results from our screening. ALL looks good- which is wonderful news. Baby Jared is growing just fine and healthy.

heavy heart

Someone I don't know very well died yesterday. He was one of those people who knew almost everyone I was close to, but for whatever reason our paths rarely crossed- which was most definitely to my loss. The words I have read about him today have made me feel deep sorrow. Sorrow for death. Sorrow for a wife who lost her best friend. Sorrow for the utter shock that death brings- Sorrow that leaves no words. Sorrow that leaves tears that can only we wiped away by heaven.

I have been so stone cold lately. so cold with fear and worst case scenarios. I found out this news yesterday just minutes before I went to see our baby. I think I was so overwhelmed, that I just couldn't take it all in. life and death. beauty and sorrow. 

sometimes life just aches. today is one of those days.

looks like a baby

Today we had our first trimester screening at UAB. This is an optional screening for all pregnant women, that shows pretty good indications of whether or not you might be at risk for downs syndrome or one of the other trisomy's. It also is a good indicator for congenital heart defects. I have seen enough in my own medical experience, to want to be as prepared as we can for this baby. However, this morning, I was thinking- you know, maybe I would be okay NOT knowing. Oh well, it was too late, and I knew the non-emotional part of me knew this would hopefully be a helpful thing.

So, the good news is we got to see the baby. Isn't he/she cute? The Doctor was very scientific and mostly what I heard was bla bla bla, downs syndrome, bla bla bla, more downs syndrome. So I was about to have a full on panic attack the whole time. Keep in mind, as he is giving his little talk, he is moving the ultra sound around, taking measurements, giving you no indication if you need to worry about all his bla, bla, blas. Finally, at the end, he said "everything looks as it should". I had some blood work as well, which will be back in a week or so. The ultra sound along with the labs will be evaluated, and then I'll find out our risks, etc.... Sounds fun, huh?

It was reassuring to this little baby today. I try so hard not to worry, but I just do. 

2nd trimester, here I come.

what a day.

I shot a very fun wedding today, and now I am laying on my bed with my feet regaining some feeling:) But, what I really wanted to share was that today we signed a contract on our house. Monday, we had decided to see if we could rent, as we were running out of time. I didn't feel like we were giving up, but in some way we were laying out our fleece, asking God what we should do. We got more than 10 calls that day, which was super encouraging- and stressful, as we then had to think through how to screen, do applications, etc.... My anxiety level was high.

And then Wednesday happened. Three showings.

Thursday we had an offer.

Today we signed a contract.

I know it's not a done deal, but it looks hopeful. and I am feeling less like I am going to lose my mind:)

I can't believe we are moving in three weeks.