Alopecia and Annie

I don't write too terribly much about Annie's Alopecia. My father told me early on to treat it at normal as we could, and I intuitively wanted to do the same thing, and for the most part,  we have. It's been a silent grieving, never wanting to make Annie feel like her Alopecia made us sad. There will be time for this, when Annie does her own grieving. We will not be afraid to share that with her, but for now, we share in the joy that is Annie. The most cheerful spirit I have ever met.

But with this joy, comes the incredible challenge that I share with all mommas trying to raise their little girls, and that is the issue of identity and beauty and how to make that a healthy relationship. 

We made the decision this year to get Annie her first custom hair piece. I wasn't sure if she would wear it, want to wear it, etc, but I felt certain I wanted her to have the choice. This has been a complicated choice, as the megaphone message in the alopecia world is that "bald is beautiful" or "You are beautiful  just the way you are". Is this not the message we try to teach all of our little people? Is this not the truth we try and preach to ourselves? 

And yet, for arguments sake.

God made my hair darker than it is, and now greying. I color it, not because I find my value in highlights, but I happen to like my hair a little lighter.

We don't look at a child, say, which a missing leg or hand, and prohibit a prosthetic. We thank SCIENCE! We thank God things like this exist. These kids get a chance to push back brokenness. They get a chance to WALK. to WRITE. 

Say what you will, but we all want a little bit of normal.

Our choice to get Annie a hairpiece was not a desire to cover up her sweet little bald head. It was an effort to give Annie the gift  of a little bit of normal.

I picked up Annie from school the other day, and she was laughing with her friend. They had the same bow, and ever since, Annie has been begging me to braid her "hair". I get to do that now, and it brings us both joy. We are also at the age where kids are mean. This is somewhat protected at her school, but it is not in the big bad world. Annie has gotten picked on at our gym, when a little boy repeatedly told her she was a boy because she was bald. The hair piece has given her some armor. She doesn't always need her armor, but it's hers if she wants it.

Annie is beautiful. But not because she is bald. Bald does not make her beautiful. God makes her beautiful. She may decide one day that wigs are not for her, or she may thank God every day that such things exist. We navigate those choices now, because she is a young child, but she we eventually make her own.

I know, not a super exciting post, but it was on my mind...