why hello?

My goodness, it has been a long time! I've been posting a bit more regularly on my photo blog, but I like this old place, which has now been in existence for almost 10 years. We have been in Tulsa for 5 and 1/2 years, which feels so crazy. It feels like it is becoming home, as I settle in to life here, and my sweet family. The days are often long, and I wish I were closer to the people that know me best, but I have resisted fighting so much to leave and make a new life somewhere, and found some peace in the surrender.

My little Annie just turned 5. F I V E!!!! She is a sweet little soul, and I feel like I hit a major parenting milestone the other day, when I realized I was handling her ALL WRONG. With a simple change in my communication, we have had a major turn around in the discipline area of our life, and I feel like I might not lose my mind anymore. And it is true that you are hardest on your first borns. I am astounded by what I expect from her sometimes, like how dare you fall and scrape your knee? That is SO inconvenient!!!!

So, it turns out, we are both having our character formed. I keep thinking, I will be done that part of my life, but not so much.

I really am dim sometimes.

But back to Annie. We had a Princess Birthday Party, and it was a blast! I hemmed and hawed about having a birthday party with friends and games and whatnot. I have "issues" with birthday parties. My birthday is on a holiday, which for some reason has always made me incredibly insecure. I never wanted to have birthday parties on New Years Eve. There seemed to be so much pressure, I just wanted to blend in. Crazy that a gazillion years later, I am tempted to pass those fears on to my child, who is also holiday-ish baby! I kept thinking, people will be busy, let's just do family, I am not sure I am good at parties.

And then I realized how stupid I was being, and that all this girl really wanted was a birthday party, and she would probably be elated if one person came. I put my fears and insecurities aside, and well, it was a great party, and Annie felt celebrated and loved, and I felt humbled by it all. Several of the moms commented on what a great party it was, and I felt like our heart for hospitality made its way into a birthday party.

And so, I take another deep inhale, as we march towards Christmas. Advent is mostly a blur, but we are trying, ever trying to be intentional in our traditions. It's not perfect, but we try.

As we head towards the end of the year, I am thankful for the ways God has been faithful, and with us. We don't really deserve it, and I struggle to believe on a daily basis.

And let me not forget to mention our sweet Amelia. She's as cute as a cupcake, and witty and sneaky. She loves high heals and dora underwear. We are potty training, but I forget half the time and she pees on floor pretty much every day. With Annie, I was so systematic,  but with Millie? not so much.

Merry Christmas dear friends. love to all...

Brooke