we hath this treasure in earthen vessels....

the illusion of a photo.

that life is hot tea, and flip flops, and warm baked bread.

these are all images of my real life.

but my real life is also hacking coughs, sleepless nights, three year old tempers.

It's take out, for a week, because mama just isn't feeling it.

there is always before me, the ideal. the hope. and the reality.

I love among them all. I catch glimpses, even live the life I long for, for brief moments.

but I am always reminded, always- that I hold these treasures in earthen vessels.

this week, I hear of two young mom's living out their last days battling cancer.

Lord, have mercy.

I watch a plane crash on grey's anatomy and remember a dear friend who lost her life in such a way. the tears fall. I am not sure I have ever really cried over her loss.

Christ, have mercy.

I look at my own life. I see an update of Facebook about how someone has planned a Summer full of paleo meals. I feel judged.

Lord, have mercy.

and then I went to Sonic and bought a milk shake. Because I am free. and loved. 

and then I walked three miles, because I am free and loved.

and life is short. I have learned that the most this week.