I finished the book "Home" today by Marilynne Robinson (author of Gilead and Housekeeping). I wasn't totally taken with it- however, it's one of the first times I have read a book where I felt like it was mimicking my own emotions- I have been struggling with the mundane since I have been home from work- and not knowing many folks here- so the days seem long and I have found myself a bit stir crazy and bored. This book has echos of that- long days and trying to figure out what home means...So, in some odd way I think I will always remember reading that book before having Annie- finding some kindred spirit in a bored soul of a character.
I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a major identity crisis:) That's ok, I am anticipating it, have felt it coming on, and hopefully will be better for it when its all said and done...Who knew I put so much confidence in my work and productivity. I don't think that that is a bad thing all together- it's just the doubt that creeps in when I even entertain being mostly at home with Annie. Like, I am not earning my keep. Like my brain cells will be start seeping out at a rapid pace and soon all I will be able to talk about are things that relate to baby poop or something of the like. I fear I'll lose my edge:) because, I am SO edgy!
See what all this time does- it makes you crazy:)
2 comments :
If it can be of any comfort, the American Journal of Medicine did a LENGHTY study (5 years ago maybe? I think I just had or was about to have Ana..) on women and the conclusive, no two ways around it, result was that motherhood makes women smarter! Now, ask any pregnant or nursing mother about it and they'll spit the tea they had just sipped right into your face (by accident, they didn't expect you'd make them lough JUST at that moment)... but the science is there!
Keep reading and you'll be okay. :) It's a good sanity booster! I've been thinking of you...
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