dreamy morning

I woke up way too early this morning, mostly due to being worn out from trying to get comfortable, so I threw in the towel and got up. in the dark. It was early.

Half in a coma, I got Welsie her food, opened to door, and with a little tear in my eye, felt FALL. The sky had that Fall light in it yesterday, so I was already anticipating it- but this morning it was really cool, and it rained all morning. So I opened up the window by my couch, made some tea, and read Anne Lamott's "operating instructions" until I fell asleep. It was nice.

I have had this little book of Anne Lamott's for a long time. I have tried to read it, but thought I would hold off until I actually got pregnant. Well, that took a while:) But I am happy to be reading it now, and it is so perfect, the timing, the everything.

It has taken 32 years and a move to Tulsa for me to realize that I have some "issues". Don't we all. I mean, I knew I had them, like I know the world is round, and birds fly. But I don't think I had really stopped to think about how they effect the way I see the world, how I interact with it, how much anxiety I have when I am not in control. I don't think I actually stopped to check them out, if I am honest- they have just been so loud and obnoxious, I haven't had much of a choice.

Anyway, Anne Lamott always inspires me, because she's lived a hard life, and yet has managed find grace and glory in it. In her memoir of her son's first year (the book I am reading now), I really feel every ache of her words. Their honesty.

The weekends are hard here. I miss my tribe. I know yall are busy cleaning your toilets and being lazy just like me- but I miss your nearness and your like- mindedness. And though I might not have seen you today- you would have been one street over, or a drive away, or whatever. I miss that.

But I am thankful for mornings like this one. Where I felt some comfort by my window, and some fresh air. I know it will be well. Folks have weathered far worst storms than this. And it's almost Fall- which just makes everything better. I need me a cabin in the woods and a good, long, hike.