poem Friday

wow, isn't this how we all feel, when it comes down to it?

A Watcher

By: Robyn Sarah

The mail doesn't come
and doesn't come.
The mail doesn't come.
It's three o'clock, I've been
downstairs to check, and up again,
and down and up — it
doesn't come.

Incognito in the little shops
is how I want to go.
And in and out
about the neighbourhood,
observing unobserved.

And yet I long, I long.
Long to be known, and know.

growing up. snapshots.

In between the fevers, and the ear aches, the stitches. the whining and the tantrums.

I hear, "I love you, mommy".

a spontaneous, "I love you".

they are screaming, and we've been running around all day. It's time for Mass. I really just want to lay down.

but I'm hungry.

We wrangle, and find shoes. load up. drop off.

My fingers find the water. The cross forming over my head. my heart.

"You belong to God". This motion. This sign. to make me remember.

It's quiet. We kneel before Jesus. the candle is lit. He's there. in the box. so they say.

I can't get my mind around it, but I kneel.

"you belong to God". This motion. Knees on cushion. to make me remember.

The next hour ebbs and flows. I say the words.

"I am not worthy, that you should enter under my roof, but only say the words and my soul shall be healed"

and every week, it feels like it is.

this week made me so crazy....

I went back to blonde.

mid life crisis.

sort of.

the cherry on top of the cherry.

Well, I  might as well keep documenting this week- this is totally for Millie's own amusement when she reads this one day....

So yesterday, after another long night, I just had that feeling that the antibiotics from that urgent care visit were not worth anything. It was a 5-day z-pack which is not really the recommended drug for ear infections, which I even told the doc- but whatever, his pride wouldn't let him prescribe the augmenten which is the only thing that has worked in the past. So irritating!!!! Why did I even bother going?

So, long story short, we ended up back at the dr yesterday. Both ears, STILL infected, and one eardrum ruptured. Seriously, Could this child have a more pitiful week? She was in so much pain yesterday and last night, she just shook. It broke my heart.

Thankfully, the wonderful pediatrician loaded us up with antibiotics and pain killer, and today, she seems really well. She still complains when it gets to be re-dosing time, but anyway.  life is looking up again.

I haven't caught up, but when does a mom ever, really?

Sorry to bore you with the mundane. This is pretty much my baby book, diary, and creative writing outlet all in one, so you know- it is what it is!