addendum

Well, approximately 3.5 hours from writing that previous, upbeat post- I came down with the stomach virus from hell. Comical, really. So, a trip to the E.R. and 18 hours of sleep or so later- I am on the mend. Josh also, almost in complete sync with my illness got a severe sinus infection- so we were fit to be tied. Thankfully we have kind aunts and parents who once AGAIN helped us through our drama! 

So, here's to 2009. Less drama, please.

two weeks in

Two weeks in.  All I can say is- oh my goodness. It's been a wild ride, intense, and lovely. And I am so.so. tired. All my family left yesterday and today, so needless to say I have been riding the hormonal roller coaster like a champ.  I was crying a few days before just anticipating their leaving. dreading the tears. I don't know what there is to dread. Perhaps the vulnerability, the uncertainty, the distance. On the other hand, I am excited about being a family with Josh and Annie, and look forward to the coming days...

I am slowly coming out of the 10 month fog of pregnancy. My old interests have creeped back in. There are movies I want to see, books I want to read. Creative juices seem to be flowing again. Food tastes amazing. I am back in my old jeans (there are benefits to having to pump 8-10 times a day!)..sorry if that was too much information. I know I won't get to see all those movies, or read all those books, or create all the things I want to create, but I am thankful for at least feeling like I WANT to- it feels like I am in the land of the living again.

Well, it's time to feed little Annie, and then Josh and I praying the wee one sleeps a bit, because well, we are tired:)

merry christmas and fa ra ra ra ra

Merry Christmas everyone. It was a quiet day around here for us. The family (extended) gets here one by one over the next few days, so our celebrating is being delayed a few days, which is kind of nice, as we are still in the early days of stupor, sleep deprivation, nervousness, totally awestruck, feeding craziness, tears, laughing, more tears, more laughing. Our days are so strange, we lost track of time yesterday and never made it to the grocery store before it's early closing. We managed to come up with a good breakfast and then for Christmas lunch, all we managed to find was a Chinese Buffet. I was a bit timid with the little one,  so we hid in the corner, and we had some good laughs with Mom and Jim as we munched on our sweet and sour chicken and Lo mein. Any other day I would have been a bit grossed out, but you had to laugh. Our own little Christmas Story  moment. All we needed was a sexy lamp and bee bee gun and we would have been set:) It's a good story, and one we'll remember for a long time.

The good food starts tomorrow. It will be a bit noisier here, but I look forward to being around all of my family these next few days. I would not have made it this year without all of their support and excitement to meet their little Annie. I still can't process all that has happened this past week and a half. Sometimes it hits me, and the tears fall quickly, as I think how different things could have turned out. I am so deeply thankful that God spared us in those tender, fragile moments of Annie's birth. 

I can already see how fast the time will go. I have had to really tell myself to stay in the moment. I find my mind wandering to the future and I wonder why it's so difficult for us to be present. I guess our hearts are always restless for something- may it find it's rest in God- who is both mysterious and sure- no matter the circumstance.

this could get annoying:)

Looks like Annie will be home by Tuesday. I really hope so. She has to have a sleep study done tomorrow night, and if all goes well, she will be free to come home with us. We don't anticipate any problems, this is a fairly routine study for all NICU babies. Annie graduated to big girl feedings today- She loved every bit of it. She is doing really great, and we are just so glad that she has recovered from her rough start. She really is the cutest thing I have ever seen. She looks more and more like Josh every day, and her cheeks are amazing.