all but gone

Well, Josh and I slept on an air mattress in our empty house last nite. We slept in the front room and listened to our little neighborhood one last night. The sirens, here and there. The occasional car alarm. The people, hanging out until the wee hours. I slept peacefully. maybe because I was tired down to my bones. Maybe because I knew it was the last nite I would be there. Maybe because, as difficult as moving is, and letting go of friendships that have kept us level- this all just feels right. Every step of the way, us doubting, and God seeming to say- Go forward. I am taking care of you.

God taking care of us.

That sentence has taken on a new meaning these past few weeks. And again, I just shake  my head and I admit that I just can't wrap my head around that. When someone our church loved, is gone. I think of another friend that I like to call Saint Anne- who is running around Sudan/Darfur as we speak, trying to help in a terrifying situation. An another is in Uganda, seeing things I am sure would make me question that sentence at every turn. It all has me understanding my old pastor is St. Louis, who often in prayer at our Community Group, would just pray- God, have mercy. 

Thankfully, I'll be back in a couple of weeks to finish up some photography work and close on the house. It will be good, and then we will return home, or at least to the place we can only hope will become one.

saying goodbye, to birmingham

The weekend is upon us, and I have felt the sadness sneaking in today. I want to have space in my heart to feel all of this adequately, and I just don't. It seems just in the past few weeks, I have felt that inner peace like comes after a long struggle. That sadness, that is kind of like relief- when we say, "to whom shall I go, you have the words to eternal life". That's where I am.

Josh and I have so much to look forward to this year, and I am eager to begin this new season. But I am deeply sad to leave my friends, my family. Who will be my Jones's? Who will love us like them, and invite us into their home, and sit on their porch. Who will be my Cassia and Joy? My book loving, dancing sisters? Who will be my community group- who welcomed us in, prayed for us, gave us their friendship. And Carrie and Whitney- who will walk with me, and eat Mexican on Fridays? So many spaces to fill. This will not be easy.

But, what I know is this- 

I have left a place before, and there have always been people waiting. Waiting to love and give me the mercy of friendship. It's always hard to believe it will happen- but it will. I hope that I will be able to offer the same.

Thanks Birmingham- for being home to us for these three years. We shall miss you, in our own little way.

keep in touch!!!

little button designs

I don't know why I have not mentioned this before, but my sister has a great little side business, selling labels and stationary. They are really adorable- and they make GREAT gifts.

click HERE

I know crazy, and I will use it.

I think Owen Wilson says that in one of those Shanghai noon movies. I watched that movie one too many times on a flight to and from Europe years ago. I was really feeling those words by the end of the trip. But that's another story.

We have three days until we load up the truck, and I am just not feeling it. The "it" I need for the final push. I don't really feel stressed, I just don't care:)

I have also entered into a new phase of pregnancy where my need for food IS actually making me crazy. It just hits me so fast, and I feel like the world is coming to an end. Talk about high maintenance. This morning, I temporarily lost my sanity when I realized all the utensils had been packed and I was trying to flip sausage with a knife, in a copper pan that was in the good will box. It did not end well, and expletives were said. I had to walk it off, and then my sweet husband, who was still half asleep, managed to salvage the sausage. I know, sausage. I won't even try to explain it- except that lately cereal just doesn't work.

So, crazy it is.