borrowed tears
Thursday, June 28, 2007
my friend neil posted about this story today. I don't know if I am just tired, or if its the fertility meds, or just incredibly refreshing to watch something beautiful. At any rate, I cried, when I watched this.
crazy and lazy
Monday, June 18, 2007
well, summer is here. About June 1 I become seriously non-committal. Everything is maybe. So what do Josh and I decide to do yesterday? Tear apart our kitchen. As if we did not have enough going on already- we add yet another thing. sheesh.
I must say that I am proud of our little adventure thus far. We have relocated a semi-kitchen in the dining room. the cabinets are gone. The floor is being ripped up as I speak. The hardwoods look like they are in good shape and easily refinish-able. Our dishwasher just sat on the curb for all of 5 seconds. There are benefits to living in the margins. nasty dishwasher= money. I am glad they took it. I hope it helps.
I read Anne Lamott's "Grace Eventually"..I guess this is kind of the third of her trilogy on faith. I feel alot of things when I read her- I feel like I am always in a safe place with "Jesus", and at the same time I feel scared to death. Anne Lamott has seen some tragedy, but she also places herself in the path of the Gospel, which mean pain and love and gasping for air and finding it. I just barely get this, but not even really.
I think I will look back on my life and say my first thirty years and say they were incredibly selfish- I am not throwing a pity party here, this is real conviction I am feeling. So much of my spirituality has been self serving, and thankfully, I am tired of this. I am SICK of it.
Anyway, I am still turning all this over in my head. I guess I probably always will.
I must say that I am proud of our little adventure thus far. We have relocated a semi-kitchen in the dining room. the cabinets are gone. The floor is being ripped up as I speak. The hardwoods look like they are in good shape and easily refinish-able. Our dishwasher just sat on the curb for all of 5 seconds. There are benefits to living in the margins. nasty dishwasher= money. I am glad they took it. I hope it helps.
I read Anne Lamott's "Grace Eventually"..I guess this is kind of the third of her trilogy on faith. I feel alot of things when I read her- I feel like I am always in a safe place with "Jesus", and at the same time I feel scared to death. Anne Lamott has seen some tragedy, but she also places herself in the path of the Gospel, which mean pain and love and gasping for air and finding it. I just barely get this, but not even really.
I think I will look back on my life and say my first thirty years and say they were incredibly selfish- I am not throwing a pity party here, this is real conviction I am feeling. So much of my spirituality has been self serving, and thankfully, I am tired of this. I am SICK of it.
Anyway, I am still turning all this over in my head. I guess I probably always will.
quiet
Sunday, June 10, 2007
what a week. I was kind of sad yesterday when my grandmother and mom and jim drove off. it's been so busy and full with the new baby niece here and family and food. it's tiring the way hard laughter is tiring. it's good.
anyway, the quiet is kind of lonely, but I am trying to rest in it. gillian welch helps. it's funny, how she makes me such less afraid of loss. her music has a way of redeeming my fear.
dad and jackie will be here friday. we'll do it all again. and i will be a little sad again, and i will probably tell you about it.
until then, have a good week.
anyway, the quiet is kind of lonely, but I am trying to rest in it. gillian welch helps. it's funny, how she makes me such less afraid of loss. her music has a way of redeeming my fear.
dad and jackie will be here friday. we'll do it all again. and i will be a little sad again, and i will probably tell you about it.
until then, have a good week.
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