butt in my rib

As I sit here, I am pretty sure I have a little butt in my rib.

I am 35 weeks this week, which is good. it's in that "could go anytime" scenario, which I thought might have been a reality last nite. I worked Friday and Saturday nite, which I have not done this entire pregnancy (working 2 nites in a row), because it's just too hard- but I did it anyway, and paid for it dearly last nite with insomnia and 3 hours of contractions, kindly spaced out at 5 minutes apart. The contractions themselves only lasted 30 seconds or so each time, and I kept fading into sleep and then they would wake me up again. I kept thinking - I'll wake Josh up when they start hurting. It's just too much work to get all fussy about this right now:) I had a feeling if I could just get to sleep, they would go away. and they did- somewhere around 3 am when I fell into a fitful few hours of slumber.

I, of course, woke up grumpy. I really think a 35 week gestation period would be long enough- I'll have to ask God about that whole 40 weeks thing one day because pretty much any hour over the 35 week mark is just plain miserable. don't you agree?

You probably wouldn't gather this from my blog posts, the mere self absorption that accompanies these last weeks (and honestly, for me, the entire pregnancy) is just plain exhausting. ***

There is good news- Amelia has a birthday set unless she comes early, which I wouldn't be too surprised. For now, though, I am all set for a c-section on Feb 15 @ 9am. That's 4 weeks from tomorrow.

happy monday!

***and by this I mean, if you have read this blog at all the last 9 months, self absorption seems to fly off my fingertips with ease. In the end, it really is exhausting, though, and I will be eager not be so fixated on my various maladies.

a little late, but still cute

I realize my picture taking has been very much neglected on the blog. Here's a cute one of Annie from Christmas. Love this girl. tantrums and all.

terrible twos

are proving true around here.

major kicking, screaming, throwing fits kinds of tantrums.

today I miss the days of freedom. of pubs with friends. long mornings in coffee shops with the snow falling. and then I remember that then I was longing for what is now. and everyone said. enjoy this. enjoy your time.

it's all so good, you know. every season with it's benefits and loneliness.

but when your kid is prostrate on the floor at church, screaming at the top of her lungs, one starts to wonder how this came to be my child? When did I lose control? or did I?

today, our associate pastor was preaching and he said sometimes some of us show up and we can barely utter the words in a song because we feel unworthy to worship. I kind of laughed inside, thinking, I probably should feel this way- but really I am just too tired to sing. I mean, I barely made it to church, really!

you know it's bad when you are fantasizing about 3 days in the hospital with people waiting on you hand and foot. It may require major abdominal surgery, but I'll take it. and pain pills, too. oh, and that beautiful baby amelia. can't wait to meet her, too.

*** upon dealing with an obviously not feeling well child all day, and a sudden onset of bright red/rash like cheeks, it dawned on me about 10 minutes before bedtime that Annie has Fifths disease. well, at least her behavior wasn't JUST because she is 2. SO. TIRED. OF. SICK. BABIES. Hoping the Advil and Benedryl work their magic....

say a little prayer.

hi all-

Just wanted to drop a note regarding Annie. She had her 2 year well-baby checkup yesterday, and the Dr. decided to run a heap of lab work (much of it we did last year along with some new tests). I was really happy to see her initiate the lab work- as you get to a point in the hair loss thing where you don't know where to fight and where to resign yourself (and child) to a hairless fate. Anyway, her dr. just wanted to make sure we weren't missing anything- so she is checking thyroid function, celiac disease (this is an "allergy" to gluten), Zinc levels (which effect hair and skin health), sed rate (which would indicate if there were active "inflammation" in the body), a cbc and metabolic profile- which are basic blood counts and chemistry profiles. Of course, this was heartbreaking to go through- but they were able (as far as I know) to get the samples they needed- but Annie was terrified, yet amazingly sat fairly still in my lab the entire time they were getting the blood.

Needless to say, we all needed alcohol after that appointment. We settled for Sushi and Annie had a great time and Josh and I were able to unwind a bit.

I'll update if I know anything today. These things come with all kinds of emotions. On the one hand, you want them to find something that will answer your questions, but on the other hand you want everything to be ok. sigh.

* All of annie's labwork came back normal. The zinc sample has to be retaken because it clotted, which happens quite a bit with labwork. I told them we needed a few days before we did that again, so I'll update soon! The good news about the zinc, is that is a fairly "fixable" abnormality should be results be low, so of all the lab work that was done, the zinc was the least scary, so to speak.