better

My sister told me I couldn't write such a sad post again. 

I am doing better. Today is all about some work that needs to be done, and then tomorrow we'll go to church. somewhere.

I am actually looking forward to that. 

I am also looking forward to checking out the flea market that is a mile from my house. A flea market and a farmer's market! (We have one of these opened 7 days away across the street. I ate peaches and a tomato from there that changed my whole perspective on life:)

All right folks. Have a great weekend.

sad

They came today. The tears, that is. I knew they would, and now they won't stop. damn tears.

I am not even trying to console myself- I don't think I am supposed to.  I know it will be okay- it's just today, the tears have nothing else to do but fall.

My sweet dog is so disoriented. She awakes at every sound, and I find her big face in front of mine in the middle of the night, as if she is trying to tell me- you know, mom, this is not my home.

Well, it is home- and I keep trying to comfort her, but it's going to take her some time too. I am a lot like her, too.  Leaning into Josh, telling him- this isn't home, yet. What am I to do?

There are no answers here. We do the work of entering in to life. We let God lead our steps. We get to understand a little more deeply what it feels like to be a stranger- which can only help me feel more compassion for those who walk a similar road. 

I am so thankful for Josh. He knows me well. He saw that the tears were not ending, and he said, how about a walk. So we took our first walk around the neighborhood. People smiled, loved our dog, we admired the houses and said several times how thankful we were to be walking in a neighborhood. Quiet. but not too quiet. Folks were already starting their July 4th festivities. I imagine them showing up at their friends' homes, after a long day of work- looking forward to the long weekend. The wind was blowing, and people were sipping on drinks. They looked happy, and it made me smile- which was no small feat today. not small at all.

tulsa house

Click on the house. It will take you to flickr and you can see more photos.

Family and friends asked for photos, so I promise this isn't me trying to show off anything. Although I do like the house:)

tulsa house, originally uploaded by brookejaredphotography.

here.

We're here. We are kind of unpacked, in places. I am ready to feel settled, but that will take some time. My friend Carrie made the trip with us, and she has been AWESOME. I think Josh and I would have felt so disoriented, that we would have just collapsed mentally by now. But instead we've had Carrie to help ease the stress, make us laugh, help me decorate and run errands. It's been incredible, really.

I love our neighborhood. People are out walking at night, which is something I have not been able to do for three years. It's close to so much. We ran several errands yesterday, and  everything was within 5 miles with little traffic. I also found a McAllisters- which means alot to me because of my love affair with sweet tea. 

I am started to feel that pit in my stomach of being here with so few people to know at this point. I think when Carrie leaves, the tears will surely come. Thankfully, we'll be back in Birmingham next week, I'll get to see people one last time (not last, last)- but you know.

And- I just love Skype. I have always been able to video chat with my mac friends, but I was able to do that with my sister last nite- and it's just such a comfort to see a face and not feel like they are 700 miles away.

That's it for now. I'll post pictures when the house becomes livable.