a good story

so, others are sharing their little love story today. why not me?

One of the first times I saw Josh, he had a skull cap on, he was mowing the seminary's grass, and he had cool glasses. Josh was/is kind of a ninja. He has a way of appearing and disappearing without notice. He's there. He's not there. This is pretty much how it was for the first year of knowing him. I'd be at a party, there he would be. poof. gone. or vice versa. He wore alot of camouflage, too. Once, my friend Leslie was over at his apartment and found him in camo pants, wifebeater, lying on the floor drinking wine and eating fancy cheese. How could you NOT love that?

At any rate, mostly Josh was mysterious, cute, and quiet. and totally not interested in me.

BUT, we drank coffee at the same place. and we just so happened to discover Walker Percy around the same time. So we talked about bookish things, I discovered his voice. And then, it started, like all good relationships do, with a long drive.

Josh asked me for a ride to L'abri. We were both going for a week, his truck was really old, etc...

A week later, I dropped him off, and he called me 30 minutes later and asked if we could date.

Three months later, on christmas day, in a catholic church, He asked me to marry him. 5 months later we were married. Almost 4 years later, I can't imagine life not knowing him, which is a good thing to feel when you are married:)

Love you josh-

new digs

the blog got an ole face lift. I need to do some more, like add a dozen more links to the lovely blogs I read. sometime soon, i say.

Made it through my second week of Bible Study. Since my time at seminary, studying the Bible has been somewhat intimidating to me. This Holy book is both comforting and terrifying. Claiming things well beyond my maturity and experience- calling me to something utterly un-me.

And yet, if we are created in God's image, so much of what we fight against is the very thing we were made for. In studying 1 John, I can feel myself wrestling with something at every breath. If you claim to know God, you must obey Him. If you claim to be without sin, you are a liar. all sin. so you sin. and you should obey. and love, too- because that is the highest command. I guess that means that we always carry in us, this reality, that in all things I am a sinner. I also, carry in me the reality that Christ covers my sin, makes me able to fight against it, turn away, and God forbid- do. the. right. thing.

and not because it's "right", but because it's true.

I have found a great deal of rest in the past years in being able to sit in my uncertainty. I have felt, many times, the welcome of the Table to my doubting heart. Perhaps that Table of Repentance is doing its slow work, making me able to hear words again. words that are true. I still don't know what to do with them, and they often feel too much for me. and that's ok. One thing, I am most definitely over- is caring what others think about me. "To whom shall I go, you have the words of Eternal Life".

Most days I have no idea what the implications are to that statement, but I feel the same way. even if I wish there were a less painful way.

the professor.

I usually find Josh like this on most afternoons. He is such a nerd. and cute.

let's try this again.

what a cold and dreary week that just passed us by. Not my most stellar week. Cold plus Rain plus a buttload of hormonal type drugs = ick. I am turning the old corner, though, as the drugs have done their work- and thus the waiting begins. This week is full of friends and an appropriate amount of work and hopefully some exercise and a wee bit of hope.

oh, and the christmas tree needs to be put away. since its february.

so, if I can get my act together, I will make it to see Over the Rhine tonight. I like them because they are rockstars and live on a farm (where they grow music, as they say).

Until then there are photo orders to be put in. A Mountain of Laundry that has taken over my guestroom. the kitchen and its dishes. I wish the mundane were not SO mundane.

I should also (gulp) mention I started a bible study this weekend. It has been a long time since I have done such a thing, but it is good to be confronted (not assaulted) with words from God. We are studying 1st John, and there was plenty of mystery and truth to keep me occupied until next week.

so, here's to a better week! a less drug-induced, warmer, sunnier week. with God's help.