this is a wierd thing to post, and i am not even sure that i will when its all said and done, but it is a big, gigantic part of life right now, and to not write seems weird, too. so the subject is about a baby, and how we are not having one, yet. i have never been a dreamy kind of person. i don't know if i was born with old genes that saw the world all distorted way before i should have, but i have never expected things to just happen "as they ought". I suppose I have expected some rejection and failure along the way. This is life, right. I am growing in this, or should i say out of this, slowly. trying to see the beauty and hope in things. but this, this baby thing, or lack of a baby thing, is a real drag. and this is where it gets weird. does everyone really want to know about all your failed attempts at making a baby? i suppose not, nor do i particularly want to recount them to you, o world of blog. But, but, but....many of you are my friends and family, and you should know, this is hard. really hard.
so, if you are of the praying kind. you can pray for us. even as i write this, i am overcome with something akin to holy laughter. i mean, really, you have to admit that i am, in essence, asking you to pray that a certain sperm might meet a certain egg, preferably soon, and well....that is just weird. but it's real.
and if this seems taboo, for some of my more "mature" readers, please forgive me. just think of it as science.
6 comments :
Thanks for sharing. It is hard and confusing. I have to admit I get mostly mad at God for not letting you guys be parents yet. I will pray for both of you.
brooke, thanks for sharing this intimate situation. i'm glad to now know so that i can pray for you and josh. i'm sorry this has been such a struggle for you guys and i will pray that the Lord is faithful in listening to and answering the desires of your heart.
This whole thing just makes me realize that we're just not in control. I never would have imagined the "not being in control" part would be so hard.
I'll be praying for you, too. It's a subject that's on my mind a lot.
Su
I hate the way people are accidently having babies, and people like a certain sister-in-law, who boasts, 'Whenever I have decided that I wanted a baby, I had one. It's just that simple.'
Well, it isn't. I think we are misled about a lot of things about pregnancy (and preventing it), but I feel that one of the big misnomers is that if you decide on Tuesday that you want a baby, look at your calendar for 10 months from Tuesday, and you'll be in the hospital with a new baby. That's bull. I'm starting to realize, after talking with more real people and listening to fewer people's 'stories' that normal is having patience and waiting for it to happen - it's not a given. For the average joe (joe-ette?), it's not a one-time thing - it takes time. And that's normal. God works on His timetable, not ours, and He's faithful. So, keep trying, and be glad of the consolation prize: you get to keep trying.
love this post! i am addicted to your blog now.
I love your honesty is what I meant about loving this post. we will pray.
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