still pregnant:)

I SO wish I had some news to share! Today I actually got out of my pajamas (yay!), and bought 2 whole Christmas presents! I also cleaned the kitchen and mopped the bathroom and put up several loads of laundry. That's nesting, right? One can hope...

I finished the book "Home" today by Marilynne Robinson (author of Gilead and Housekeeping). I wasn't totally taken with it- however, it's one of the first times I have read a book where I felt like it was mimicking  my own emotions- I have been struggling with the mundane since I have been home from work- and not knowing many folks here- so the days seem long and I have found myself a bit stir crazy and bored. This book has echos of that- long days and trying to figure out what home means...So, in some odd way I think I will always remember reading that book before having Annie- finding some kindred spirit in a bored soul of a character.

I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a major identity crisis:) That's ok, I am anticipating it, have felt it coming on, and hopefully will be better for it when its all said and done...Who knew I put so much confidence in my work and productivity. I don't think that that is a bad thing all together- it's just the doubt that creeps in when I even entertain being mostly at home with Annie. Like, I am not earning my keep. Like my brain cells will be start seeping out at a rapid pace and soon all I will be able to talk about are things that relate to baby poop or something of the like. I fear I'll lose my edge:) because, I am SO edgy! 

See what all this time does- it makes you crazy:)

no news

In case anyone had their hopes up from my post yesterday:)

At any rate, I am officially "stove up", as my grandmother would say. funny. I guess everybody feels this way at the end, but I feel like I am going crazy! 

We'll keep you updated....

Is it....

possible just to have one never ending contraction? That's how I have felt all day long. We just had our nightly walk, and I mostly moaned the whole time:) Maybe this is the start of something....Gosh, I hope so. Another week of morning television might just kill me:) I did read most of the day- I am half way through "Home"- same author of Gilead and Housekeeping. So far, I find it pretty boring- and it's ironic because the characters are basically struggling with boredom, as am I....so in a weird way, reading the book seems oddly appropriate. Go figure. I'll let you know how it ends up.

Here's to the weekend. 

The nightly walk

Well, we've initiated the nightly walk here in Tulsa.  The walk to clear our heads. The walk to please our dog. The walk that is ever so uncomfortable for me, but with hopes that it will get things moving and bring Annie on her way. It's cold, but it's fun to get bundled up, scarf and coat, and breathe it all in.

There is this undercurrent to it as well, this thing underneath all the anticipation, that everything is about to be so different. The emotion of it all really overwhelms me. We walk, me and Josh and the Welsie- and it's quiet. and even a little sad. but in a good way. sad because you love someone and knowing a season of your love is changing. 

well, I better stop, before the tears really start falling. Josh is cooking tonight, and it smells real good. I better go eat...